Addict- Trigger Warning
Approximately age 11 had my first cigarette. By age 12 I was buying my own packs or asking for them on the street, or stealing from adults around me. Age 12-13 trying beers and smoking weed. Age 14-15, LSD, mushrooms, speed and really any other free pills I could get my hands on. I wasn’t sleeping or eating properly, I was out on the streets & couch hopping, and at times I was sleeping in a friend’s closets. By the time I was 15, I was working at McDonald’s and I had an apartment with a friend.
We were partying almost every day. We broke into cars, houses, running around North Bay at 3am, sleeping all day and again not eating properly. We had no money, it all went to drugs. At this point I tried every drug except for heroine.
Every day I woke up needing some sort of high, the days I couldn’t get a buzz of some sort, I would stay awake for almost 3 days straight, then I would sleep for days. I was 110lbs. Not well at all.
One evening I was super high and I was playing with my lighter and lit the phonebook of a payphone on fire. It blew up. I thought at the time it was funny, so I then lit 3 others on fire. Within 5 days I was arrested. I called my father. He bailed me out. I was to reside at his place until my court date. I was sentenced 3 months in custody.
During my story I will explain my arrests on going, but in this section of Addict, I will express or explain that I was using all drugs except heroine up until age 21 and drinking large amounts of alcohol, I remember at one time I drank myself sober, 36 beers later. I did attend rehab at age 16 court order for 3 months, and every time I was on probation which was age 15 to 19 I had to follow court order to see a drug counselor once a week, which I did, & most times I would go in high. They really didnt care. I continued to smoke weed daily and drink on weekends. This worked for me. I knew I was still addicted to substances in so many ways.
On my 40th birthday I was hung over for 3 days. I knew at this point I just couldn’t drink anymore. My body felt sick. It wasn’t that I drank like this all the time, as I got older it seemed to get harder to wake up, and it was alot of work to be hung over, the shakes, sweating all the time, getting sick over the toilet, calling in sick to work. To this day I will have a couple of drinks once in awhile. But I am still an addict and always will be, I know I would love to dive into drugs to escape but it’s not worth the pain and struggle. I’ve come so far, in reality Its dealing with why I want to escape. It’s always going to be a ferris wheel. Getting through the downs will give me the strength.
Photo Credit : Jessica Compton